"Anger is one of the many profound effects life has on us. It's one of our emotions. And we're going to feel it when it comes our way --- or else repress it." --- Codependent No More
Many times I've asked myself: "How can I still feel this angry when I'm living a recovered and sober life?" The more I work my program, stay sober and live a recovered life, the more I feel my feelings. And unfortunately, anger is one of those feelings that is part of life.
The challenge is to take responsibility for that anger and not to let it control me anymore. There is no doubt that if I don't allow myself to feel anger -- it will control me.
Taking the first three steps has taught me that I must learn to accept the good with the bad. If I look at the bad as an opportunity to grow -- and in fact a gift from God -- then embrace anger as an opportunity to learn -- then I can turn anger from a negative to a positive. I don't welcome anger, nor do I push it down and not feel it.
I can now have the awareness to ask if I need to do a mini-4th step: "What is my role in this anger?" Or maybe I do a 10th step and ask God to help me accept HIS will for me whatever that may be. I say a little prayer that God gives me the grace to see the lesson in the anger (there is always a lesson!) and the humility to accept HIS grace and HIS will for me in that moment. I feel it and release it -- in a manner that doesn't injure or hurt me or anyone else.