My sponsor use to tell me that 'resentment was like me taking the poison and hoping that someone else would die.'
...If I bury the hurts, I bury the hates.
Can you recall the last time you held a grudge against someone? Perhaps it was a friend who betrayed you, a stranger who wronged you, a lover who left, or a parent who unintentionally hurt you. Perhaps this has happened recently and feelings of regret, resentment, and injustice are fresh enough that it still stings. What can we do to overcome these feelings and painful memories?
10 Steps to Letting Go of Resentment
"Resentment is a mental process. With resentment, we repeatedly replay a feeling, and the events leading up to that feeling, that angers us.... With resentment, we reexperience and relive events in ways that affect us mentally, emotionally, physiologically and spiritually in destructive ways.
...What causes the unhappiness that underlies resentment?
a) What we feel people did to us that was unnecessarily mean, hurtful, and thoughtless
b) What people in our lives did not do for us that we feel they should have done
c) When we feel the people in our lives have not done enough for us
Holding resentments is choice. A choice to refuse to forgive; and unwillingness to let bygones be bygones.... We cling to a futile need to be right, which overrides the capacity to be at peace....usually because we don't know any other way to come to grips with the painful feelings of hurt, rejection, and abandonment."
With that introduction to what resentment is, what is the underlying cause, and why we hold onto them, here are the 10 Steps to letting go of resentment.
1. Approach resentment as the addictive state of mind it is.
Gratefully taken from Healing from Family Rifts, by Mark Sichel, (our very own "Ask the Experts" Mod)
Free of Resentment Prayer
God, free me from my resentment toward _______________. Please bless ____________ in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day. Please give _______________ everything I want for myself. And may ____________'s life be full of health, peace, prosperity, and kindness as they seek to have a closer relationship with you.